In the past eighteen years I’ve written a dharma essay each month and sent it out to my readers. My intention in writing is to be of service, especially during trying times like these. Those in power are purposely trying to overwhelm us in order to create confusion and inactivity. Our challenge is to take ourselves in hand and re-regulate our nervous systems. In this vein I’d like to share a list of things that have been helpful to me.
The barn burned down, now I see the moon
Mizuta Masahide
When the barn is burning
And animals scatter
Sweep up the motes of star dust
Free from form now
Cradle the frightened animals
And don’t forget to look up at the silvery moon
Even more radiant in the darker dark
And remember who you are
On Tuesday night I was awoken by dry hurricane force winds, what I’ve come to know as fire winds. These are the winds that spearheaded the Sonoma fires that burnt to the north, south and east of my home in 2017. I didn’t lose my home but easily could have. I know others who have lost homes, art, possessions and livelihoods. There are still remnants of these fires on the hills years later. This was a time that brought out mostly the best in the people of my community, sincere gratitude for the first responders, spontaneous urges to offer help and supplies to those in need. It woke us from our sleep walk and we came together as a community. I see the same thing happening in LA.
As I sit in my living room this New Year’s day I am experiencing feelings of gratitude, possibility and magic. I want to share this feeling with you in case you have been feeling bogged down by all the suffering in the world. If you are alive there is reason for great hope.
At the end of the year I like to reflect and release, prune and reset- try, imperfectly, once again to do what I can and let go of that which does not bear fruit or bring light. It’s clear that my goals in 2024 kind of got away from me. They got so big-electing the first woman president and getting our feet on, what I thought was, the right path, and I got my ass handed to me by the results at each turn. Once again I am clueless. Thankfully, my Zen practice advocates for a state of cluelessness and brings me back again and again to simply not knowing. It reminds me that each moment is a microcosm, that nothing is ever lost, that we are all too deep in it to clearly see the pattern of life as it unfolds.
I’ve just returned from a Zen bearing witness retreat at Auschwitz with the Zen Peacemakers. https://zenpeacemakers.org For a little context, anything to do with the holocaust has plagued me since childhood. It was time to bear witness to my own fear and this was the perfect situations for this. People from different parts of the world gathering to practice not knowing, bearing witness and compassionate action. This was not holocaust tourism but a mission to strengthen our ability to keep our eyes open when facing the suffering of ourselves and others-a great asset for any activist.
