Like Clouds Moving Through the Sky

 The current issue of Reflections, the magazine put out by Yale Divinity School, contains an article by Donyelle McCray entitled Feast Day for St. Harriet. The article, part poetry part prose, speaks of Harriet Tubman’s life and legacy. In it the author writes:

 What if God’s gift to us in a Saint like Harriet is to lead us away from

Preoccupation with assured outcomes into a way of being that is

Freer, nimbler, and more joyous?

Shouldn’t our practice of Christianity give us that?

What if God’s gift to us in a Saint like Harriet is a pathway out of the

Life-stealing clutches of control?

 This beautiful little gem of wisdom offers a way into our meditation practice.

 As we say goodbye to 2020 we have a great opportunity to also say goodbye to old patterns that no longer serve us. The Zen perspective is that we meditate, not to create a new, better version of ourselves, but to uncover the enlightened being that we actually are. How different that perspective is than how we in the West have come to think of self-improvement! We have been taught to think that we are born defiled, or are defiled by our childhood experiences, and need to change our intrinsic self in order to be free and happy. When I started meditating I felt as if I had to weed out defilements. I spent many years trying to weed out the parts of my psyche I thought were unacceptable. But I could never get deep enough, they would just pop up over and over again in new forms. It turned out that letting anger, ignorance and greed exist in a state of love was far more effective than trying to hate them out of existence. When I allowed them to exist in a free, open space they dissipated by themselves.

 When we meditate in the ancient Chinese form of silent illumination we provide a wide-open field of acceptance for our thoughts and feelings. Rather than judge some thoughts as good and others as bad we look without judgement at our thoughts, feelings and sensations. We watch them like watching clouds move through the sky. Everything can emerge in a safe space, a space free of judgement. As we watch the clouds they dissipate without us making that happen. What is left when the clouds dissipate? We explore this emptiness with curiosity and presence. That is how we practice shikantaza meditation. This form of meditation requires some trust, trust in the process and trust in ourselves. We walk into the unknown again and again. There is no assured outcome. Like Harriet Tubman, who trusted implicitly in God, we trust in the wisdom of the vastness to unveil itself to us. It is always brave to walk into the unknown.

 On the eve of 2021 I wish you all much shedding of imagined control and a freer, nimbler, and more joyous experience. We have our work cut out for us in order to set the Earth ship aright, many bridges to build between communities, many important causes to support. The less baggage we bring with us to the task and the better we are at shedding self-doubt and self-distrust, the more energy we can bring to the important work of loving our communities and all the humans, plants and other animals we share our home with.

 Come sit with us Monday through Friday morning or evening! You will find us here:

 https://www.awakeningathome.org/meditation

 Wishing you a safe, productive New Year!